The Irrelevance of the Universe

The first post. This usually tells you, the reader, whether or not you'll be interested in actually reading this blog. In this case, you are completely and utterly wrong. See, this blog is different. In this blog, we will not be labeled by our first post. In fact, if you try to put a label on this blog, you will be given a rubik's cube to amuse you as you fall down a bottomless pit with spikes at the bottom. And now, because we shall be conformists for a moment, we will introduce ourselves.

*Bursts in, with a torrent of evil laughter * I am the Dark Lord Ishi-ishi! I hope you are comfortable in your pit, because you will stay there (and not try to crawl up the extension cord) until I have instilled terror into your heart. I have? Oh, okay. Don’t make me take the cape off, though. It swishes rather nicely. As I said before, I am a dark lord, but you can just call me Jeff. I am a scientific genius, magnificent actor, an all-around wonderful guy, and quite a poet (although this is just between you and me. I get down on myself about my poetry, because I want to throw those health inspectors off the scent. Long story) My hair is a work of art, and is the slate for all sorts off… creative tampering. I have many titles, but the one most commonly associated with me at the moment is “Ugly.” It never gets old, does it? “Ugly” is the name of the character I play currently in a musical. I’m the lead, actually, and put everyone else to shame. I have a way with computers, and am undaunted by multiple remote controls. “Some call me… Geek.” Can you tell I’m a Quest for the Holy Grail person? I wear my geekiness on my sleeve, and with pride. I’m the King of the Geeks, actually. It’s an elite club, and no, you can’t join. If you haven’t pulled a laser out of your pocket and zapped me, giving yourself a chance to escape out of the pit, yet, you’re not a member. As to other interests, I play the piano like Bach himself, sing to make a lumberjack cry (that’s a good thing, if you couldn’t follow the metaphor), dance, act, have an extensive knowledge of musicals and older movies, blow things up, and don’t play basketball. I am also, under the influence of my colleague, becoming a member of the grammar police. If you find an error, you receive the prize of getting out of the pit. Aw, heck. Come out Anyyaw. (Just to clarify, this was Maeve writing an introdution as Jeff. He is not vain, and would never introduce himself like that, even though it's all true. That's why I had to do it for him.)

I, Jeff, have the difficult task of introducing Maeve. Let’s see…where to begin? I guess I should start by describing her. Well, she’s…um…yeah. She’s really smart – nay, a genius. Ask her anything, and if she doesn’t know the answer, which is highly unlikely, she’ll know within an hour. She’s also very modest. For example, she would never admit it herself that she’s a genius, or brag about something she’s done. Except for that one time…anyway, I’m at a complete loss for words. Knowing Maeve, though, she’s probably typing away and having a jolly good time describing me. Back to the point, though… She loves the arts. Be it painting, acting, writing, she loves it. And I just realized writing isn’t one of the arts. Oh well – it brings me to another point. Maeve and writing is like a cow to its milk. Okay, bad simile, but I tried. Her writing, as you will soon learn as you read her entries, is beyond that of an average teenager, as well as her vocabulary. Her understanding of the English language towers over others of her age. This is partly because of her interest in books, but also because of her outstanding imagination. If imagination were a fuel, Maeve would be able to travel around the galaxy several times without pausing to take a break. While some people think that an essay about how they are special is creative (it isn’t) Maeve, with her dazzling imagination and intellect, would be able to write several essays on how she is different from her twin clone. Be it her imagination, her skill of the English language, her love of the arts, or her genius, Maeve is an all around great person. And that, my friends, is where I will end. Yes, I started a sentence with a conjunction. What are you going to do, sue me?

Wow, that was weird. I think you can tell who had more fun writing that. Yeah...I feel like we should write something more.

"And only on that? So can a rat!"