Conversations With God, Part 1

A psychopathic murderer's conversation with God.

Mr. Smith:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Mr. Smith:
You can call me "Mr. Smith".
God:
It's good to meet you, Mr Smith.
Mr. Smith:
It's nice to meet you, too.
God:
I really like to meet new people.
Mr. Smith:
I'm glad you're happy to see me. I have a problem, though.
God:
Yes it is about time. Oh. Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Mr. Smith:
When I am purpling, the other person generally is not too happy. In fact, the other person is usually dead by the time I'm done.
God:
In an ideal world every day would be a good day. Is that a fact. We can't all be perfect.
Mr. Smith:
I'd like to repent for my sins.
God:
Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Mr. Smith:
I want to repent for my sins because they have been many and deadly.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Mr. Smith:
Well, we can't all have what we want.
God:
Interesting. How?
Mr. Smith:
Life isn't fair, hon.
God:
Oh, not fair hon is it.
Mr. Smith:
Yes, it is!
God:
Our thoughts are one, Mr Smith.
Mr. Smith:
Good. But I still want to repent for my sins.
God:
Alright then. What would make you stop wanting to repent for your sins? Why do you want to do it so much?
Mr. Smith:
I really like to see other people in pain and suffering. I take immense joy when they stop breathing.
God:
You really do? I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Every day?
Mr. Smith:
I really really really enjoy it. I do it everyday, and then I take their money .
God:
You really do? You really do? You really do? What do you like about seeing other people in pain and suffering? I haven't heard anything like that before: Mr Smith said it everyday and then he or she take their money.
Mr. Smith:
I am male.
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Mr. Smith:
No, I have three girls in the room with me.
God:
Are you serious? Three is a lot.
Mr. Smith:
What do you have against the female sex?
God:
I like to socialize.
Mr. Smith:
So you're a womanizer?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a womanizer? Of course I am.
Mr. Smith:
God is a womanizer. I never would have thought.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a womanizer. You've never, never done this?
Mr. Smith:
Do you eat a lot of mayonaise?
God:
No I do not eat a lot of mayonaise. I eat only electricity.
Mr. Smith:
How does it taste?


I presume it tastes like chicken. Kudos to iGod for God's personality.