Life Where Dead People Live

Creeps me out.

It's quite nice here, actually. The flowers bloom, the trees blossom, the fruit grows. Sure, the flowers bloom dead, the trees blossom shrivled up leaves, and the fruit grows rotten, but you get used to it. Once you get passed all the disgusting stuff (like decapitated bodies, chopped up limbs, and skeletons) it is, I repeat, quite nice.

So, as I wait here for someone to rescue me from this hellish nightmare (MAEVE, SEND A RESCUE MISSION!!!!) I went to the great Niagara Falls. It was very pretty, although it was dried up and the ghosts of the idiots who went over in barrels came to attack me. The ghosts were very sweet, if violent. Once I proceeded to tell them the manner of my death (they were mad I was still intact) they gave me a turkey sandwich. The cool thing about being dead is that all the food is the same, since everything you eat is pretty much dead, except for select foods. As for the Falls, it seems that in Dead Land everything is dead, including non-living things. Take this rock, for instance. It was never alive, but it just seems dead right now.

********Random note: scientists can "turn off" the falls, if they choose.********

Now, as pretty as the falls were (dead), the rapids were a sight to see. Huge waves of nothing poured over in an ever-continuing raging river of death! Well, sort of. It was actually kind of empty. In fact, it was more of a trickle of water, if that...

Enough about Niagara Falls, though. The cool place to be is Erie! It's full of...stuff...with nothing to do...except the Govenor's School. That place is cool. But it's dead now. If you go now, you'll just see an empty college falling apart.

So, I found out yesterday that, being dead, I can do near-impossible things. Flying, for instance, is commonplace. Everyone flies when they're dead! Well, that's 'cause half the people are ghosts...but other things, such as jumping extreme distances, is also commonplace! Well, that sort of comes with flying, now, doesn't it? Um...oh, I've got it! You can take off your head! If you're not a ghost, that is. Well, you can take off your head when you're a ghost, but it's not as cool. See, the population is sort of split. There are the ghosts, and then there are the animated dead bodies, or zombies. Wait long enough and they'll become skeletons, but that takes a very long time. There are more skeletons and zombies then ghosts, though, since "you're only a ghost if someone alive is still holding on to you." Quick! Name the show that I took the quote from! I'll give you a clue. It used to be a book. The main character, who is twelve or so, is named Mary. Her parents died. She now lives with her uncle, who is a *********. Right. Any more and it might give it away. Anyyaw, I seem to be a zombie, so I can take off my head. Well, I'm off to wait for that rescue party. Adios!