"The literary equivalent of an acid trip." -jedi_raptor07

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Goat Farmer

There was once an old goat farmer in Peru. One day, he got out of his bathtub to find that all his goats were gone. He immediately called a press conference.

When the word about the missing goats circulated through his hometown of Vancouver, Peru, all the villagers were concerned. They wanted to know what they could do to help the poor old man in his time of goatlessness. So instead of holding a second press conference, he climbed to the top of the highest skyscraper and shouted, "Everybody look for my goats!"

But because of the echo against the Peruvian Himalayas, his message was garbled.
The populace of Vancouver thought the old goat farmer was asking them to, "Cook him some oats."
Assuming that he must suffer from malnutrition, every bored trophy wife in Vancouver cooked the farmer a bowl of oatmeal.

They didn't know where to bring the oatmeal, so they dumped it at the foot of the skyscraper from which his message had been heard earlier that day. Unfortunately, the heaping pile of oatmeal caused a massive traffic jam, blocking the street. No one could drive through the oatmeal. No one could walk around the oatmeal. It was inescapable.

But just as tempers were at their fiercest and horns beeped their loudest, a miracle happened. Scared by the noise, the old Peruvian's goats were flushed out of hiding, and ran stampeding down the street.
They were trapped in the sticky oatmeal. The farmer and all of Vancouver rejoiced.

The end.

3 Comments:

Comments Blogger Tim said...

Truly inspired.






...But by what?

6:45 PM, September 23, 2007

 
Comments Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew oatmeal had a purpose in life!

5:17 PM, September 24, 2007

 
Comments Blogger Raptor said...

I revise one of my previous statements.

This whole blog's the literary equivalent of an acid trip!

9:12 PM, September 28, 2007

 

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