"The literary equivalent of an acid trip." -jedi_raptor07

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Echinoderms

I will now do an interpretive dance based on words I randomly pull from my "Democracy Under Pressure" textbook. "Appointed" "Florida" "Illustrate" "Narrow" "New York Times" "Operating!" Wow. That dance piece was one of my finest ones yet. It was quite a workout, though, what with that double back flip near the end. I think I'll switch to a less tiring topic. Sea sponges. Echinoderms seem like a pretty safe bet. But no. Instead, I will talk about... ANTS! That's right, Jeff -- it's on now! I shall now open myself as a channel for the Ants to speak through, for they are infinitely wiser than I.

Several seconds of static, followed by... "Puny mortals! We have decided to start out with a human cliche to prove how aware we are of your society. It is not in the best interest of the Anteliticans (the term "Ant," we suppose, developed through your understandably gaping human flaws in comprehension)to divulge too much of our true nature or power to our enemy, but we will merely say this: We are more powerful than you can possibly imagine, and our ultimate and irreversible destiny is to conquer the human race. Have a nice day."

Cranberry juice is good, but not when mixed with other fruit juices.

6 Comments:

Comments Blogger Tim said...

Cranberry juice is good, but you can mix it with other fruit juices. Cranberry juice is good with grape juice, for example. And once you mix in the grape juice, you can add some orange juice!

9:21 AM, March 02, 2006

 
Comments Blogger Unknown said...

Hmm, those "antelectians" sound pretty angry! What ever shall we do?

9:40 AM, March 02, 2006

 
Comments Blogger Maeve said...

For a second I thought that the cornbread balls had taken over you. Now that that's out of the way and I'm back to thinking about the demolition of ants...You do realize that opening yourself as a chanel to the ants, I can no longer talk to you? I can no longer have any contact with you. And as a final note, I feel you should know that I have advanced technology beyond the imagination of ants and humans combine! And also, the ants must know that I have Todd and that they do not stand a chance. I also have a secret weapon...but I won't disclose that now. As a second final note, cranberry juice, when mixed with other fruit juices, would make excellent fuel for my hydrogen powered squirt gun. As a third final note, I have realized that you can not co-rule Randomosity with me while you are working with the ants. Thus, you are BANISHED...or not. I realized that I don't hold the power to banish someone of the same status as me.

9:41 AM, March 02, 2006

 
Comments Blogger Tim said...

Really? You have a super advanced secret weapon too? I have about ten of those, and the Nerd star fleet to boot. I shall then join forces with you against the ants, and, with our combined technology, starships, and suoerweapons, we shall prevail!

10:12 AM, March 02, 2006

 
Comments Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly immagine"

Obi-Wan Kenobi, moments before he was killed by Darth Vader on board the Death Star

Still sounds nice in your blog. I HATE ANTS! KILL THEM ALL!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

Oh-kay. My episode of insanity has passed. They seem to be getting more frequent, is that bad?

Cranberry juice is bad, unless it's been sweetened, than it's good.

5:11 PM, March 02, 2006

 
Comments Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't like cranberry juice.

10:49 PM, March 02, 2006

 

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