Lone Ranger

The man in blue quickly pulled out some sort of yellow powder. He grabbed me and threw it at the Reds. They seemed to fall to the ground very slowly while changed color. By the time they hit the ground, they were orange.

"Who are you?!" I demanded, "What have you done to them?" I attempted to shove him away forcefully, but my strength seemed to leave me when I touched him.

"I am a Blue, your friend," he stated calmly. "I have merely bound their powers by turning them orange." He let go of me and pulled out what seemed to be a red crystal ball.

"Why did you say I was purple? I mean, I'm extremely pale. Heck, I'm not even wearing purple! What are you, some kind of nutjob or something?" The Blue seemed to ignore me while gazing into his little ball. "Hey, I'm talking to you!" I smacked the ball out of his hand with much force. After all, I am an ex-soldier. Well, "dead" one, that is.

As it left his grasp heading for the ground, a look of terror came over his face. When it shattered on contact with the dry desert, he started mumbling in some language I could only presume to be some ancient long-lost one. Finishing up the mumbling, he ran towards me and grabbed my wrist, jumping into the air. Higher and higher we flew when, suddenly, mist seemed to form around us. I looked down to where the Reds were through the mist. They finally had regained their composure and seemed to have become red again. One of them saw me and pointed at the Blue. A large beam of God-knows-what came out of his finger and hit the Blue square in the back. He "evaporated", for lack of a better term, leaving me to fall towards the ground. Again. I thought to myself, this is a really bad day.

Then, several things happened there that I can not explain.
1) I did not hit the ground as I fell. Instead, I stopped about a foot above the ground.
2) I looked at the Reds, who became very frightened all of a sudden when I managed to back onto the ground.
3) The Reds began to run at an inhuman rate away from me.
4) I said "Wait!"
5) They froze in place as if by an otherworldly source.
6) I said "Alright, someone is going to tell me, right now, what the hell is going on?"
8) They exploded.
7) I threatened to blow them up (with what, I wasn't sure) if they didn't answer.

Disappointed that my only sources of information were currently smoldering ashes on the floor, I began to walk. Where, I was not sure. I knew that somehow, when I died, I became a "purple". Blues were apparently my friends, Reds were not...yet they happen to take whatever I say very seriuosly. I decided that a land of allies and enemies was not one I liked. Since I was dead, I didn't want to get involved with politics again.

As I was contemplating my situation, I heard a noise. It sounded as if a volcano was erupting, though I could not see any volcano in the vicinity. Of course, the last place you look is right below you, which happened to be where a burst of lava sent me spiraling up into the air as an army of Reds poured out of the new hole in the ground. While spiraling up, I felt something familar. Rain. Each rain drop that hit the ground became a Blue. Within seconds, a large battle ensued as I continued to spiral up...and up...and up...and up. I eventuall hit some sort of barrier, a magic shield, perhaps, and began to fall for the third time today towards the ground.

Yet again, I stopped about a foot above the ground. When I regained my composure, I saw that the battle was still ensuing and that both armies were taking heavy losses. Well, me being the caring soul that I am, I yelled "Yo! You guys can kill each other all you want, but would someone please tell me what's going on here?" At that instant both armies stopped and turned towards me. I became extremely embarassed, but I figured since I had everyone's attention, I might as well make use of it. "What's going on?"

Within seconds, every single soldier in the armies began trying to persuade me to join their side, as I was the legendary Purple with powers of both Reds and Blues. Haha! Finally! An answer! Now, I couldn't make a decision with all this yelling, so I yelled "Yo! SHUT UP!" Although their mouthes kept moving, not a sound came. I thought to myself that famous quote..."With great power comes great responsibility..." What they don't tell you is that the rest of the quote says "to have fun."

In my suddenly booming voice, I yelled "I have decided...that I will not join either side. In fact, I alone shall defeat both armies."

In a puff of smoke and water vapor, the armies in front of me disappeared. I was left alone in the desert, with no way to tell anything apart. Before I got hit by a falling brick from the sky, I thought to myself: This day sucks.