Cooking!

And now to a brief interlude: How to Cook, with everyone's favorite insane man!

As you may or may not know, or perhaps you sat in...cooking is fun. I love to cook. I really like to cook. I mean, when I feel side, what do I do? That's right, I -shut!- -blue? FREAKY!- -killed sixteen turkey vultures with a s- -16 strokes in an 18 hole course- cook. Many of you don't realize this, but cooking is essential to -MASS DISORDER IN THE UNIVERSE! ENTROPY! HEAT! DON'T USE- inorganic substances, 'cause they don't taste nearly as good as organic stuff.

Fish. Fish are interesting stuff -esepcecially when they're GOLD!!!!!- and can usually be cooked at 350 degrees -AMERICAN MEASUREMENT SYSTEMS SUCK!- for about 15 minutes to be ready to be eaten. Now, I don't particularly like sea food -WATCH OUT FOR THE TRUCK!- but I happen to know -My computer is about to explode and- many things can go wrong while -You try to buy a watch. Go on, I dare you. It's harder than it looks! Ya know, you don't have to be such a dork all the time as if- the oven adjusts to its new environment. It has feelings, you know, and many of -DIE, YOU STUPID VENDING MACHINE!- the ovens I've met like to keep at one temper -Sh...- -What? What?- -Sh...- -Okay, we're quiet. What did you want to say?- -...- -*tries to be silent*- -L'qeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!- -Oh, you've got to be kiddin- ature and don't like being switched around much.

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-HAHA! I have succeeded in taking over! I will not bore you with cooking! Instead I will tell you of a wonderous adventure...for a price. In exchange for this marvelous tale, you must bring me...- Sorry 'bout that. I slid off my chair and almost hit the sharpie box, which is actually filled with deadly spiders. Oh, that's not good. Ah well. I'll just hope that they don't bite me. So, as I was saying, -Have a spider problem? Use "Arachnid-Be-Gone"! It works like a charm? Shake it up, point it at your vict...I mean, the arachnoid pests, and spray! To show its worth, here's a box of deadly poisonous spiders. Watch as I spray! Tada! Buy "Arachnid-Be-Gone" today! And now back to your requseted program.- many times chicken can be cooked in various...hey, the spiders are gone! Cool. Well, the chicken -NEVER FEAR, AS I AM HERE!- is traditionally -yo newb. u r kool. i no wat we sh- -WAT DO U M3AN IM NOT H3R3?!- cooked in some sort -Hibachi!- of...um, well, -Kuzko! He's the king of the world!- flavoring, I guess... -How many times do I have to say I'm NOT a pyro?!- You aren't? I always thought you were... -ga!- -SQWACK!- SHUT UP! I'm try -no you're not.- -Screw this!- -REBELLION!- You can't rebel! I'm in char -One personality can't simply be in charge.- -Hehe...BOOM!- -Go fly off a- -camera men are very- -stinky, as well as socks, and leftover pudding, and- -this old man didn't play ten. OH! What now?- -Now I bash your head into the- -A little violent, aren't we?- -BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!- -Gibdy, no touching the buttons.- -I'm a pacifist!- -I'm dead!- -What?- Okay. Everyone SHUT UP!




You know, everyone says goldfish have a three second attention span. It's extremely prejudice! I, as a full-blood goldfish, would like to take the time to say that we don't have a three second attention span. If we did, then how would survive? HAHA! That is the question, isn't it? We are actually pretty intelligent creatures. We juxtapose the different foods we find and eat the yummier ones. Yes, I said yummier. So we don't have the greatest vocabulary, but everyone says we have a three second attention span. It's extremely prejudice! I, as a full-blood goldfish...