Ants

Ants are out to take over the world.

No, really.

Okay, you obviously don't believe me. We'll start with the basic villanious rule: Always wear (or have your skin color) red and/or black. What colors are most ants? Red and black. Hah! They are villains, I tell you! Evil masterminds! They want to kill us all and take control of the planet! After that, they'll have galactic domination!

You still don't believe me, do you? Try this on for size, then: the population. There are about one million ants for every person. Does that not sound like world domination?! If an army of 200,000 men and women attacked (that's a total of 400,000 people) the ants, they could send out 200,000,000,000 ants to counter-attack, and still have the same ratio! They are at a distinct advantage here. Just wait - one day, they will come with their huge numbers! Their numbers plus their villainious skin must mean they are PURE EVIL MASTERMINDS!

You probably think I'm crazy right now. Well, in one sense, you are right: I am insane. But in another sense, you should be scared! An single ant can lift twenty times its weight! Now, you may think that this isn't much, but think of it this way: If a one-hundred pound person could lift 20 times its weight, it could lift 2000 pounds, or one ton! Ridiculous, I know! Also, an ant can run very fast for its size. If we could run at the same ratio, we'd be running as fast as race horses! They also only live for about 45-60 days. This makes them willing suicide bombers since they're going to die in a few weeks anyway! When ants build the technology to make themselves bigger, we will be hopelessly doomed! This brings me to another point.

Ants have superior technology to us. No, seriously. How else can they build complex underground cities without having the tunnels collapse upon them? They use their complex technology to keep everything held still. They've also killed many a person, not from biting them, but from using their superior disintegration technology. They're EVIL! They blew up a planet! They've destroyed solar systems! They move galaxies! They blow up galaxies! I tell you, they are EVIL! Where do you think the big bang came from? ANTS, I TELL YOU! With their superior technology, their ridiculous physical status at their size, their numbers, and their villainious colors, they must be EVIL MASTERMINDS BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION! Their motto is "Today the world, tomorrow the galaxy!" followed by fits of maniacal laughter. EVIL, I TELL YOU!

As you can tell, we must destroy ants before they destroy us. Fire ants have already found a way to harm us! I've begun constructing a new army to kill these ants, after the failure of my last attempt. Currently, I am one of two officers of this army, the other being Todd. I need supporters, volunteers, and military minds to combat the forces of the ants. Join my forces! Be the saviors of the human race! Help me kill of the ants, or die trying! Don't be discouraged by the outcome of my last attempt(the asteroid belt, for those of you who didn't know. It used to be a planet.)! We must kill them all! LEAVE NONE BEHIND!

Thank you for your time.

Water bottle wrappers... paper... labels... ma-jiggs.

I feel it is my duty to contribute to the blog, since Jeff has been doing most of it of late. The topic of today's ramble is (drum roll, please)... the paper around water bottles! Firstly, save a tree, why doncha? I may be a tree-huger by nature (it's a pun! Ouch), but I think the paper wrapper is a little unnecessary. Who is going to read the nutritional information on water? And, yes -- there is also a "list" of ingredients. That's just in case the manufacturers wanted to slip a little fanged toad extract in there, I guess. Now, all the devil's advocates reading this will say, "The wrapper is used to advertise the manufacturer of the water, and the ingredients list and nutritional information are required by the FDA." To that I say: Whose great idea was it to sell water, anyway? What makes people buy for a dollar what they could get right out of their own kitchen sink? Convenience? Add it to the list of "Reasons why Americans do anything." -- because it's convenient. I think it's a CONSPIRACY. Is the water in bottles better? Not unless your water at home runs brown. As for the FDA's role, as long as people are particular enough to need the ingredients on a bottle of water, there's not much the FDA can do. Unless it's say, "Nah-nah!" and take the information off. I will conclude this ramble with one fact I think you all should know. If your red apple isn't organic, there's a pretty good chance that the skin is dyed red! Take a good bite out of your next apple, and see if the flesh of it has a little bit of dye bleeding in where you bit it. Without any grace or summing up whatsoever, that's all, folks.
-Maeve

The Basketball Game

It's the sign of the apocolypse! The students won the student-faculty basketball game! That's the first time in, like, 30 years! THE APOCOLYPSE IS COMING!

(Maeve takes over) The faculty won mine on Friday. Fourth year running... and they don't let us forget it.

We Must be Crazy

We really must be somewhat insane to be writing all these crazy posts. For example, I decided todjklhfvasdfjklahskldf. Hello? My name is Tod. I'm Jeff's 'pet' monkey. That noise was me whacking Jeff on the head with this handy crowbar. See, Jeff stupidly left this crowbar inside the subterranian complex he keeps me in. I, of course, used it to break out of that gargantuan torture chamber. Not that he keeps me in a torture chamber, but my genius is being kept from the world! I consider that torture. And I've been living there my whole life, which has been about...2 years. Now that you're up to speed, I'll tell you what Jeff was going to say...but in a different way.

I've decided to completely change the subject to bananas. Jeff was going to talk about how crazy the posts have been, but really, how boring is that? So, I'm changing the subject to the science of eating bananas. First, you must remove the skin of the banana. Generally, this is done by peeling it off, but this can go wrong in a near infinite number of ways, so I never try and peel it. I use my trusty matter disintegrator that I made. After you've removed the peel, you may then eat the banana...or cook it. I prefer to cook it or make it into something extravagant, like use it to make a banana split, grill it on top of a steak, or even to cut it up and put it in a sandwich. This is getting boring. I'm going to switch topics again.

Gah! He's waking up! Got to go. To prevent this post from being deleted, I guess I'll just publish as is. Thank you for your time. I hope to have you as an audience for future break-outs.

Kiwi

Before we start, we'd like to apologize to those offended by our last post (aka Sam). It was not meant as an insult to lawyers, but to those who make outrageous accusations of companies. As to the McDonalds coffee example, most of the public (including us, apparently) are unaware of the actual facts of the case. Okay, onward to kiwi!

I was walking through SuperFresh the other day when I saw a kiwi. Yeah, that's about all on that subject.

Although I did see a kiwi, I also saw a pineapple recently. This reminded me of a conversation I had with Maeve a while back (and when I say a while, I mean sometime in November or so) about pineapples. I feel the world should know about this revelation on pineapples, so I'm posting about it.

Pineapples. Who ever thought to name it that? It makes it sound spikey, doesn't it? Strangely enough, a pineapple only look spikey. The actual "pines" on the "apple" are no more dangerous then my friend's pug. Actually, that dog really scares me...bad metaphor, but you get the point. So, the question is why did they name it that? We have determined teh pineapples were called that because when they were founded, the founder thought to him/herself, "Hey, those look like apples covered with pines!" Of course, this makes no sense because a pineapple looks nothing like an apple covered with a pine, but that is our reason, nonetheless (doesn't that look like it should be three words?)

We have now determined that they were mistakingly thought to be a spiny apple. Try to follow this next part. I doubt many of you will. What if there were two types of pineapple? There may have been a type of apple covered in spikey pines that looked and tasted like apples...covered with spikey pines. These may have been used for eating purposes, but there is a much more logical explanation. The pineapple was actually a medeival weapon. See, a pineapple (the first type, the one that was covered in spikey pines and tasted and looked like apples) was connected to a chain or rope and swung around. Sound famaliar? A mace. Pineapples were actually the first maces. These pineapples were very deadly weapons, but they had a draw back. After a few hits, they broke and splattered. Thus, a large amount was needed. This first type of pineapple, however, was only able to grow in certain conditions. As a result of the demand and supplies, medeival times used up all the pineapples to extinction. Maces were modeled after pineapples because they were so deadly and dangerous after the pinapple extinction. The world thought that pineapples, at that time, had forever left them...but they were wrong. More on that later.

You may be thinking "Pineapples grow on tropical island, you dope!". Here, you are correct, but who was around to say that a different fruit that looked like an apple covered in pines didn't exist in medieval Europe as well? Who knows, since now they are extinct!

Anyyaw, back to the point. Much, much later, explorers found what we now know as the pineapple. One of the explorers happened to be a descendant of the original pineapple harvesters. It became a tradition in his family to explain the story of the pineapple. Unfortunately, after generations of retelling the story, the actual description of the pineapple became very askewed. The explorer mistook what we now know as a pineapple for the dangerous weapon of the Middle Ages, and said "Hey, guys! Look! A pineapple!" Nobody, of course, knew what he was talking about, but they accepted the name "pineapple" nonetheless (You know what? That really annoys me as one word. I'm going to make it three words.) Nobody, of course, knew what he was talking about, but they accepted the word "pineapple" none the less.

Today, some sects of Pinapplism celebrate festivals honoring the pinapple's long and rich history. Events at these festivals include "The Parading of the Pinapple," during which the largest European-grown pinapple (usually less than 6" in diameter), is paraded from Glasgow to Hamburg. The trans-oceanic trip is made on foot by the most devout of the Pinapplists. Other religious events at Pinapplist festivals are "The sacrificial pinapple mace duel," "The sin-purging pinapple juggle" (a form of believed sanctifying self-torture) and, the "Re-name the Pinapple More Logically" contest.

Suing a Company

There are several important skills to learn in life, including reading, writing, and eating bananas.The most important of these, as it is internationally agreed, is eating bananas. Since this is such an important skill, this article will tell you how to fly to Jupiter and back again. But before that, we will touch on how to sue a company. The many steps are explained, starting from an outrageous accusation and up to what to do after you've sued them.

#1: "So, you want to make an outrageous accusation?"
To make an outrageous accusation, you must first think of something simple. Take, for example, the woman who sued McDonald's because she spilt hot coffee on herself. She took a simple event, spilling hot coffee, and made it grow into an outrageous event that should never happen again! But "again" is the key word. If you're the first one to blow a specific "something" out of proportion and make it a lawsuit, it's perfectly okay! The trick is to be creative, orignal, and imaginitive. The best way to do this is to first pick a company that you know has a lot of dough and media interest. Money, though will be the main focus of our sep-by-step instructions.

#2: "Now that you've told me how to make an outrageous accusation, will you actually tell me how to make an outrageous accusation?"
To do this, you must:
1) Pick a topic that it is almost impossible to defend.
2) Get a really good and sleezy lawyer. (Hint: the sleezy lawyers will not be found in their offices. Try the seedier pubs in Harlem for best results... or any pharmacy where hair gel is sold.)
3) Make sure you have plenty of lemonade.
4) Rinse, repeat(Beware: Rinsing and repeating more than once may not end in the success of suing a company.). The "r(epeat" is the)re just for kicks.

#3: "Don't get caught."
Getting caught in a silly lawsuit can result in many unpleasant consequences. Some of these consequences are too unpleasant to mention. A few of the less gruesome ones are as follows:
1) Losing the case.
2) Ordering scrambled eggs, and recieving them sunny-side up.
3) Coming into the coutroom and being arrested by flying monkeys with very large potatoes.
The rest cannot be printed in a decent publication. Thus, we think it best if we move onto another subject at the present time.

#4: "Now that you've told me not to get caught, how do I not get caught?"
Unfortunately for you, squirrels have taken over the computer right now. More later.

Eventually? Garlic Stew

This'll be a short post, but I promise a bigger post is coming up.

I've always wanted to leave a post cut off, for some reason. You know, in the middle of something important. Or just randomly, in the middle of a paragraph. It shall be a goal of mine. Wait, I already did that. Dang, I need another idea for a goal now! I know! My goal is now to convince my dad to let me build a hydrogen-powered squirt gun. Sounds dangerous, doesn't it?

Swiss cheese...for some reason, I have "Ragtime" stuck in my head. It keeps playing the same part of a song over and over and over and over and over again. Maybe I'll go listen to "Beyond the Sea" now...haven't listened to that in a while.

Today in school, we had PSSA's. We got to write an essay in an hour. I just had a very entertaining conversation with Tim. Here it is, with his permission (of course):

Jeffrey: Or so you think!
See, it all boils down to a pot of garlic and salt.
Then you wonder, what could possible boil down to garlic and salt?

Tim: Indeed.

Jeffrey: And the answer to that, my friend, is a garlic stew with salt in it.
Water, garlic, and salt.
That's all that's in the stew.

Tim: Indeed.

Jeffrey: Then you boil it, and all you have is garlic and salt.
And you sit there, wondering, why on Earth did I make a garlic stew?
Unfortunately, there is an answer.
The problem is that it's on Mars.

Tim: You know, if someone else said any of this, I'd probably think you were either drunk, or on something.

Jeffrey: How to get to Mars, written by the extreme Space explorer Arthur Dent.

Tim: However, you're jeff.

Jeffrey: That's the book - I'm going for that effect - I'll be using, you think.

Tim: So that makes you different.
Are you going to tell me anything revelvant?

Jeffrey: To get to Mars so that you find the answer.
Nope.

Tim: At all.

Jeffrey: Eventually, you get to Mars.

Tim: Okay.

Jeffrey: You find out that the answer lies deep within the surface.

Tim: I've already been there.

Jeffrey: You ask yourself if you have drilling equipment,

Tim: I found the answer already.

Jeffrey: but all you really need is a shovel and a dime.

Tim: I know.

Jeffrey: A two faced dime, to be precise.
A two faced dime to feed the angry demon that lurks beneath Mars' surface.

Tim: Okay.

Jeffrey: Once you feed it the dime, you finally get to the Oracle of Delphi.

Tim: Okay.

Jeffrey: Who was thought to have died, but really just moved to Mars.

Tim: I've done that already.

Jeffrey: Then, you ask it.
The question.
Why did I make a garlic stew with salt in it?

Tim: She wouldn't tell me the answer, so I had to use the shovel and *the wall *

Jeffrey: The Oracle then answers.
The answer, however, is encrypted.
In Greek, of course.
So, you record the answer.
With your tape recorder.

Tim: I decrypticed it allready.

Jeffrey: And then you bring it down to Earth.

Tim: Where'd you get a tape recorder?

Jeffrey: Unfortunately, this is where your journy ends.

Tim: You only had a shovel and the dime.

Jeffrey: For while traveling at high speeds, you opened a Time warp.
But wait! It leads straight to Ancient Greece!
You are saved! You land on Earth.

Tim: You really ought to write science fiction...

Jeffrey: Smashing into the once-grand Stone Henge.
You finally travel from Europe to Greece.

Tim: I'm so putting this in my musical.

Jeffrey: There, you meet that same Oracle again.

Tim: Wow.

Jeffrey: You ask it again, in English.
The Oracle responds in Greek.

Tim: Figures.

Jeffrey: But wait! The aliens that posed as the Greek gods come down to you.
They have a translator.
You ask if you can borrow it, but they ask for your Time travel device.

Tim: Do they use it?
The Goa'uld don't seem the type who'd helo you for free...

Jeffrey: You explain to them it was all a mistake.
Finally, the return up to the sky.
You follow them in your ship.
They blast you out of the sky and into another dimension.

Tim: Sigh...
All for some garlic stew.

Jeffrey: Flying through different dimensions, you finally stop spinning.
You find yourself on a planet.
This planet has no ocean, though.
Instead, it is made of...
garlic stew.
With salt.

Tim: So?
GAH!

Jeffrey: You scream, falling down to the ground.
This is the where you die from starvation, refusing to eat this evil stew that torments you.
The end.

Interesting conversation, isn't it? Well, I thought this wouldn't be a long post, but that conversation took up quite a bit of room, didn't it? Anyyaw, bye for now!

The Show and Sharpies

This is going to be interesting. I'm actually gonig to have a point to my post. Let's see how it truns out...

The show. Honk!, Jr. 'Twas cancelled...sort of. Early today I got a phone call from our director saying "Honk!'s performances for tonight and tomorrow are cancelled, but the one at 2 is still on." Nobody was expressing deep feelings of sadness towards the cancellation, but I suspet they will tomorrow when they all realize that it actually is over. I'm sad, if you couldn't tell, because we only had 4 out of the 7 scheduled performances, and I was sick for two/three of them. :-(

Anyyaw, today's show was our final closing matinee. It went great, but there were some slip ups here and there (as usual). Overall, I think it was a good note to end on. At the end, I saw that some of my friends had actually come to the performance. They said they liked it, which is a good thing. Whether or not they actually enjoyed it is another matter entirely. After a while, we got to...clean up. Oh, joy. Luckily, my character has no props so I did virtually nothing (Haha to everyone else in the show that did a bunch with all their props! :-P).

So, that was the show.

The craziest thing happened today. Now, before I start I must make it clear that our cast is a very strange group. We had decided earlier to create a mascot. Keeping with the theme of the show, our mascot was a duckling. Nobody seemed to have a duck plushie, or any other sort of duck figure. So, in leu of anything relatively resembling a duck, we used a yellow sharpie. Yellow markers, we decided, are virtually useless for anything other than being mascots, since they don't show up very well on any sort of paper or fabric. We used another sharpie to draw a bill and two eyes on the yellow one. Our mascot made us proud. Now, it is customary at the Cultural Centre (where the musical was held) to have bumper car battles with the wheely chairs in the green room, and get yelled at for it. Today, I was the one doing the "Tsk!"-ing. I might as well have held a flea circus using velociraptors, for all the mind the bumper car-ers paid me. It just so happened, that at the moment of greatist collision force, our mascot (or as we had fondly nicknamed him, "Aesthetically Challenged") rolled off his perch on a nearby table, and into the path of the wheely chairs. Poor AC never knew what hit him. JB and Joah, the ones on the chairs, did. What hit them was yellow ink sprayed at an upward angle from under the wheels of JB's chair. There was no sympathy for the boys. They were, afterall, murderers of our most beloved icon. Luckily for them, they were not yet in their costumes, and the stain was in their street clothes. Their skin, however, was a different story. Shannon (Ida, for those of you who saw the show) tried as best she could to cover it up with foundation. I don't think anyone in the audiece noticed. In a twisted sort of way, AC's uselessness for coloring (the attribute that made him a mascot) is what saved his murderers from humiliation. For anyone touched by this story, there will be a eulogy held for Aesthetically Challenged on the 17th. Please try to attend.

Food (not)

Jeff here. The topic of choice for today's post is...food.

Before I delve into the topic of food, I would like to thank anyone who has been sending good thoughts towards me, especially Maeve. Thank you! :-)

Back to my topic. Food. There is a rumor that surrounds every hospital - "Hospital food is poison." Of course, this is a contradictory fact in itself, so I've decided to change the subject.

Apparently it is National Kite Flying Day. On February 9th. Go figure (in South America).

Perhaps I'll go back to food. I once wanted to be a chef. Then I realized how much I like science and music. I no longer want to be a chef.

Cooking, however, is still fun. My dad and I once made a gravy for some chicken we had. I was such a geek (I still am) back then that I wrote an HTML/JavaScript prompt asking for a password. If you typed in the password, the recipe would show up on screen. If you typed in the wrong password, a "fake" recipe would how up on screen.

So. I got bored today. I played around with the code of the blog. See if you can spot the difference. It's a minimal difference that most of you probably won't notice. Now that I've said that, let's add a prize to see who can spot the difference. On your comment, write "The difference is...". Who ever gets it right will be personally congratulated on this blog. Yeah, this is big stuff, isn't it?

Where was I? Oh, right. Cooking. What is the difference between cooking and baking? I could never remember. Hats off to whoever knows.

Is whoever one word or two?

It looks nice outside. If it were warm, I could have a picnic. With myself. Oh, joy.

It seems my train of thought has strayed from "picnic" to "alien abduction" for some reason. I'll babble on about that for a while. Alien abductions...have you heard some of the people who claimed they have been abducted by aliens, or even just seen them? It's really funny sometimes. My personal favorite was when someone said something like "Well, we had a camera and took pictures of the lights coming down from the sky. They beamed up poor Bessy, our cow! We were gonna show it to the news people, but then some creepy guys in gray suits walked out of a car. They came up to us and said 'Give us the film, and never tell anyone what you saw today, with the lights.' They looked all official and stuff, so we gave them the film and promised not to talk of it again." on TV. Perhaps I shouldn't have written that. People in gray suits may come up to my door.

I lost my train of thought. Let me scroll up...oh, right. Food.

Flying Sola

I've formed a solo flock this evening, since it seems Jeff's mystery virus has taken a turn for the worse. Think good thoughts in his direction. For those of you thinking only pretty good thoughts, I'd like to introduce you to my new pet. We'll just call him "Fluffy, the Three-eyed Toad with Fangs," and leave it at that. See, Jeff? I'm looking out for you. Hm... Now, what to ramble about? You're in for a treat, ladies and gents, because the topic of choice is (dramatic pause, which is rudely broken by audience members coughing) A branch of randomness known as the "random word." Now, people may approach you and spout words like, "Weasel," "muffin," "sock," "chainsaw," "pickle," "cheese," or "stapler." These are so-called "random" words used to give the impression of randomness, but in fact prove the opposite. They are used so often, that they lose their edge. When words like these are meant to be used randomly, they may be funny. They are not, however, random. Words such as "cheese," we have all heard used to try to spice up a conversation. It may work, but causes no confusion, which is the ultimate goal of using a random word. To pick a truly random word, it is always best to choose a noun. People using the previously-listed frequently-used, catchy words (FCWs) are on the right track, as far as using a noun. Here is where a truly random word differs from an FCW; it is hardly ever used in any communication. The word must be understood by the partner in conversation to be effective, however. Words like, "tarmac," "opera house," and "topiary" are examples of good random words. And now with no grace at all, I say goodnight.

Posting a Comment

Jeff here. For some reason, you couldn't post a comment because the link didn't work. Now when you click the link, a pop-up comes up. This should enable people to comment. Thank you for your time.

The Irrelevance of the Universe

The first post. This usually tells you, the reader, whether or not you'll be interested in actually reading this blog. In this case, you are completely and utterly wrong. See, this blog is different. In this blog, we will not be labeled by our first post. In fact, if you try to put a label on this blog, you will be given a rubik's cube to amuse you as you fall down a bottomless pit with spikes at the bottom. And now, because we shall be conformists for a moment, we will introduce ourselves.

*Bursts in, with a torrent of evil laughter * I am the Dark Lord Ishi-ishi! I hope you are comfortable in your pit, because you will stay there (and not try to crawl up the extension cord) until I have instilled terror into your heart. I have? Oh, okay. Don’t make me take the cape off, though. It swishes rather nicely. As I said before, I am a dark lord, but you can just call me Jeff. I am a scientific genius, magnificent actor, an all-around wonderful guy, and quite a poet (although this is just between you and me. I get down on myself about my poetry, because I want to throw those health inspectors off the scent. Long story) My hair is a work of art, and is the slate for all sorts off… creative tampering. I have many titles, but the one most commonly associated with me at the moment is “Ugly.” It never gets old, does it? “Ugly” is the name of the character I play currently in a musical. I’m the lead, actually, and put everyone else to shame. I have a way with computers, and am undaunted by multiple remote controls. “Some call me… Geek.” Can you tell I’m a Quest for the Holy Grail person? I wear my geekiness on my sleeve, and with pride. I’m the King of the Geeks, actually. It’s an elite club, and no, you can’t join. If you haven’t pulled a laser out of your pocket and zapped me, giving yourself a chance to escape out of the pit, yet, you’re not a member. As to other interests, I play the piano like Bach himself, sing to make a lumberjack cry (that’s a good thing, if you couldn’t follow the metaphor), dance, act, have an extensive knowledge of musicals and older movies, blow things up, and don’t play basketball. I am also, under the influence of my colleague, becoming a member of the grammar police. If you find an error, you receive the prize of getting out of the pit. Aw, heck. Come out Anyyaw. (Just to clarify, this was Maeve writing an introdution as Jeff. He is not vain, and would never introduce himself like that, even though it's all true. That's why I had to do it for him.)

I, Jeff, have the difficult task of introducing Maeve. Let’s see…where to begin? I guess I should start by describing her. Well, she’s…um…yeah. She’s really smart – nay, a genius. Ask her anything, and if she doesn’t know the answer, which is highly unlikely, she’ll know within an hour. She’s also very modest. For example, she would never admit it herself that she’s a genius, or brag about something she’s done. Except for that one time…anyway, I’m at a complete loss for words. Knowing Maeve, though, she’s probably typing away and having a jolly good time describing me. Back to the point, though… She loves the arts. Be it painting, acting, writing, she loves it. And I just realized writing isn’t one of the arts. Oh well – it brings me to another point. Maeve and writing is like a cow to its milk. Okay, bad simile, but I tried. Her writing, as you will soon learn as you read her entries, is beyond that of an average teenager, as well as her vocabulary. Her understanding of the English language towers over others of her age. This is partly because of her interest in books, but also because of her outstanding imagination. If imagination were a fuel, Maeve would be able to travel around the galaxy several times without pausing to take a break. While some people think that an essay about how they are special is creative (it isn’t) Maeve, with her dazzling imagination and intellect, would be able to write several essays on how she is different from her twin clone. Be it her imagination, her skill of the English language, her love of the arts, or her genius, Maeve is an all around great person. And that, my friends, is where I will end. Yes, I started a sentence with a conjunction. What are you going to do, sue me?

Wow, that was weird. I think you can tell who had more fun writing that. Yeah...I feel like we should write something more.

"And only on that? So can a rat!"